Most of you will have heard your mothers tell you: “stop that! it’s rude to point“. Could it be one of those human universals? I have it confirmed from the Netherlands, France, England, United States, Turkey … (please let me know in the comments if it applies in your country)
That doesn’t mean it never happens, of course. But there are many ways in which people, who need to point out a person, will try to avoid being rude. They can:
- Use an open hand instead of just the index finger
- Supinate (turn upwards) the palm of the hand, though not in extrema
- Point beneath a person, not at him. In some games, for example basketball, the referee will point to the feet of the perpetrator of a foul (personal experience)
- Keep the hand close to your own body
- Point with a nod of your head (and flick your eyebrows)
- Point by directing your gaze and then protruding your lips which is in a ‘lower register’ (Laos, Wilkins)
- Point with your tongue in your cheek
- Shield the pointing finger with your other hand (Bra)
- Say ‘the guy at eleven o’clock’ instead
- If all else fails, smile and raise your eyebrows and try in every way to appear friendly, not accusing. Perhaps the person being pointed out will be glad of the attention
These two ladies made me suddenly very self-aware.
Other stuff
Some things to avoid: Pointing with your feet (TUR, FR..) and pointing with objects (TUR..)
Ghana: taboo pointing by the left hand.
Review by D. Leavens of ‘Pointing: Where Language, Culture and Cognition Meet’
S. Kita ed. Blog by Jacob Eisenstein on culture & pointing.
Jeroen Arendsen
F. (from FR) is a teacher in Hilversum. She was taught not to point at children (e.g. to give them a turn) but rather hand it to them, with a friendly presentational arc in the general direction of the child
Jeroen Arendsen
Get a t-shirt with a bonus point
Jeroen Arendsen
Play a game and learn what’s so rude about pointing?
Anonymous
I’ve heard that Vaudeville rules demanded that performers point with two fingers, but I can’t find a reference to it anywhere, or other Vaudeville rules (wait, David Byrne mentioned it on a “Dinner for Five” episode). Ever heard of this?
Jeroen Arendsen
Nope, but ‘point with two fingers’ is a nice addition to the list. It’s sort of a compromise between one finger and an open palm, perhaps?
Lyuda
It’s rude to point in Ukraine and Vietnam as well
mark dodds
i believe the correct way to point is using the two fingers that went up hannah and pointing them towards the subject
Complete Clean
Exploring non-verbal communication, especially in contexts where clarity and respect are paramount, can greatly enhance interactions in any setting. The emphasis on polite pointing methods, like using an open hand which is also a practice in the Cayman Islands, underscores the importance of adopting universally respectful gestures. This not only facilitates smoother communication but also helps in maintaining professional and courteous relationships, crucial in service-oriented environments.