10 Ways to Point Politely
Most of you will have heard your mothers tell you: “stop that! it’s rude to point“. Could it be one of those human universals? I have it confirmed from the Netherlands, France, England, United States, Turkey … (please let me know in the comments if it applies in your country)
This guy may not upset you much
That doesn’t mean it never happens, of course. But there are many ways in which people, who need to point out a person, will try to avoid being rude. They can:
- Use an open hand instead of just the index finger
- Supinate (turn upwards) the palm of the hand, though not in extrema
- Point beneath a person, not at him. In some games, for example basketball, the referee will point to the feet of the perpetrator of a foul (personal experience)
- Keep the hand close to your own body
- Point with a nod of your head (and flick your eyebrows)
- Point by directing your gaze and then protruding your lips which is in a ‘lower register’ (Laos, Wilkins)
- Point with your tongue in your cheek
- Shield the pointing finger with your other hand (Bra)
- Say ‘the guy at eleven o’clock’ instead
- If all else fails, smile and raise your eyebrows and try in every way to appear friendly, not accusing. Perhaps the person being pointed out will be glad of the attention
But these two ladies made me suddenly very self-aware
Other stuff
Some things to avoid: Pointing with your feet (TUR, FR..) and pointing with objects (TUR..)
Ghana: taboo pointing by the left hand.
Review by D. Leavens of ‘Pointing: Where Language, Culture and Cognition Meet’
S. Kita ed. Blog by Jacob Eisenstein on culture & pointing.
May 24th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
F. (from FR) is a teacher in Hilversum. She was taught not to point at children (e.g. to give them a turn) but rather hand it to them, with a friendly presentational arc in the general direction of the child
May 29th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Get a t-shirt with a bonus point
May 29th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Play a game and learn what’s so rude about pointing?
August 7th, 2006 at 10:41 am
I’ve heard that Vaudeville rules demanded that performers point with two fingers, but I can’t find a reference to it anywhere, or other Vaudeville rules (wait, David Byrne mentioned it on a “Dinner for Five” episode). Ever heard of this?
August 24th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
Nope, but ‘point with two fingers’ is a nice addition to the list. It’s sort of a compromise between one finger and an open palm, perhaps?
November 18th, 2009 at 2:09 am
It’s rude to point in Ukraine and Vietnam as well
May 25th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
i believe the correct way to point is using the two fingers that went up hannah and pointing them towards the subject